Rainbow’s End

Last week I drove into a rainbow, and it has changed my life. Winding along the fertile hills of the central California coast, I was a mess. Headed home after another intense and transformative session at Pacifica Graduate Institute (psychotherapy), the first fingers of dread were fastening in: the pandemic was here. Struggling to breathe as the panic swelled, I turned around a corner on the highway. Suddenly, electric, there shone a perfect rainbow. Bowing down from a darkened mass of storm, it landed squarely in the middle of the interstate. Hurtling towards it, 77 mph, framed by the cars around me, I remembered to wonder briefly: What lies at the end of a rainbow?

Pelting rain buffeted my little white Prius. Blinded by the storm, wipers frantic to keep up, I kept my gaze focused on the radiance ahead. With every wheel-turn closer, the tempest more loudly raged. Until, and just for the briefest of moments, I drove into the rainbow.

Amidst the shattering chaos of the storm, breath paused with wonder, I was held at the base of its light. Between the iron cast sky and asphalt black with rain, a miniature rainbow formed in the center of my windshield. My car filled with a subtle sunset hue.

And as quickly as it came, I was on the other side. Somewhat stunned, all the cars surrounding me slowed to a crawl, all shaking our heads with awe. Glancing back in the rearview, I felt deeply connected with these other drivers, and a wave of peace arrived. I began to weep, filled with an unspeakable comfort. Is this how Noah’s wife felt, when she beheld a new, still broken world? The trees and grasses deepened by the rain. Nature endlessly striding forward, a mother knowing best.

Today, amidst the torrential downpour of fear and chaos, in the shattering of our known lives, I remember that rainbow. I remember Nature’s beauty. I remember the ancient ways in which the land spoke and humans listened, humble. As my cells were taught in a span of moments, even cradling unspeakable loss and terror, we are surrounded by grace. Especially when we least can see it, we are cradled in its light.

So my dear friends, in these coming days may you know strength and resiliency. In the coming weeks may you find compromise and comfort. And in the coming months, and even years to follow, may peace shine onto your path when you least expect it.